5 reasons why I hate Java
And no I’m not talking about the country - I’ve never been there but I’m sure it’s very nice (it’s the biggest island in Indonesia and the 13th largest in the world by the way). No the Java I’m talking about is the one developed by Sun Microsystems that if I had my way, I’d put in a bus and happily drive off the end of Java into the deep waters of the Indonesian sea.
From as long ago as I can remember, using Java has always been a traumatic experience. I can’t believe that by now, neither Apple nor Microsoft have come up with an alternative to the Java platform. Of course, the one redeeming feature of Apple and Microsoft is that Java works across all platforms but surely Apple and Microsoft could have put their differences aside to work together to create something more usable than the hell that is Java. Here are 5 reasons why I can’t stand it:
1. It’s slow - Whenever you click on a link or enter a page that uses Java, you know it’s time to put the kettle on. If you’re lucky (or unlucky), you’ll also have time to pick up the kids from school, go to the gym and perhaps write that novel that you’ve kept putting off. Using Java Applets can be a particularly painful experience and playing games based on Java is sometimes like playing chess in treacle.
2. No warnings - There’s often no warning that you’re about to click on a link or enter a site which requires Java. I think this should be mandatory in the same way that browser’s often give you security warnings about certain sites. But no, when you click on something that involves Java, there are no warnings other than occasionally that annoying little coffee cup that appears in the corner of your toolbar (in Windows at least).
3. “Cross Platform” Yeah right! - I recently made one of my more smarting computer moves by buying a Mac. However, the Java Applet that I need to upload files to a server didn’t work on it. It barely worked in Windows at times but on the Mac it simply didn’t even respond. If you didn’t know, Macs have different requirements for Java as you’ll find if you look for the scant information that exists about it on the Sun Java website. (The solution incidentally was to use Windows in Parallels and upload the files that way).
4. Sometimes it simply doesn’t work - Even in Windows, the aforementioned applet was very temperamental. If it did finally open, files would require renaming to upload, it would freeze, crash, the browsing interface would kind of make folders and files disappear for a while before deciding to make them reappear again. Using Java is sometimes like a game of Russian roulette…
5. The logo - Erm, yeah while I’m riled let’s go the whole hog and let loose with both barrels. Change the damn logo Sun! That wispy steaming coffee went cold and stale years ago - at least if you can’t provide a decent platform, give us something nice to look at while you put us through hell.
OK, I’ve calmed down a bit now and I realise that sometimes it’s not Java that are a fault - sometimes it’s the programmers and developers that create Java apps that have made the errors and sometimes it’s just a simple Java update that’s needed. But for Pete’s sake Sun, it’s time to smell the Java coffee and improve your platform!
Posted at 10:47 pm on Aug 14th
Ha ha. Ha ha. Ha ha…
Good one.
Posted at 6:25 am on Aug 15th
I shared your comments … back in 2002. But you are sorely out-of-date with your comments.
1. “Java is slow” - Not any more. Java compares to compiled languages now. In fact, it is compiled, it is just compiled from pcode at run-time.
2. No warnings - true, but you don’t have any warnings if you click on any other link. Where did you think the webbrowser provides a warning when you click on a link?
3. Cross platform - it is true that Java is not 100% platform-independent in all circumstances, especially when it comes to hardware. But it comes pretty close. Our application is 750,000 lines and it runs on Windows and Linux with the exception of serial port handling, which is different between windows and the rest of the world.
4. Sometimes is doesn’t work - Java works as coded just like any other language.
5. The Logo - If the logo is in your top 5 list then I think you must really be grasping. Perhaps you hate java because you just hate java?
Posted at 9:56 pm on Aug 15th
Tell me about it!! I just received a notification that there was a Java update and did I wish to continue. Foolishly, I ‘yes’d’ it. It downloaded and …poof!.. a notice popped up stating that Chrome Registration had Failed and Firefox was unable to install this item, etc, and to contact the Author etc, etc, GREAT!FANTASTIC!— WHAT item? where is it? WHAT’S the problem? How do I stop the constant pop-ups? Deleting temporary files do not stop the pop-up notice.There is no recent up-date of Java to be found on my computer search of all files. But, luckily, I don’t have to rely on my memory to remember that it is still here because I am fortunate enough to have a little pop-up message that pops up twice each time I open a programme like email, or make a move on the internet, or on the computer — Some people have all the luck.
Colin
Posted at 12:37 pm on Aug 16th
I’ve never had any problems with Sun Java. Of course, best practice is to remove past version(s) when installing update. I’ve just updated to ‘Java SE Runtime Environment (JRE) 6 Update 10 RC1′, faster than ever, not one problem, be it IE, FF or java-based applications. What’s this grief against Java, the latest fashion in town ?!
Posted at 4:21 pm on Aug 16th
@ Dave - I’m sure from a developer point of view, Java has improved hugely over the past 5 years and yes, I agree that it has.
The post was inspired by my conversion to Mac and one particular problem I had opening a Java Applet. It just opened the floodgates to various gripes I’ve had with Java for a long time.
(I was indeed grasping by point 5 by the way :))
@ Colin I sympathize with you - you can use this site to check which version of Java you’re definitely using by the way:
http://www.javatester.org/version.html
Posted at 11:23 am on Aug 19th
Life is too short for Java, I love PHP!
Posted at 10:41 am on Aug 26th
I hate java because:
* too much settings in eclipse to handle all of them
* waaaay to abstracted. where the fuck are properties from system.getproperties stored??
* cannot compete against built binaries no matter what ‘experts’ say
* portability my ass
* takes as much machine resources as OS, not an application
* needs at least 3 ports open for SSL communication over internet. Ridiculous.
* Actual version is not backwards compatible. Rebuild all your apps!
* It’s as slow as…as… I cannot find comparison! Nothing is so slow
* It’s revolutionary over being evolutionary
* complicated
* bloated
* JARs, WARs, SARs, MARs
* SE, SDK, JDK, JEE, JNDI,JDBC
* compliances, contexts, hashes…
Need any more?
Posted at 12:30 am on Sep 6th
Regarding Dave Armstrong: “4. Sometimes is doesn’t work - Java works as coded just like any other language.”
No it doesn’t. In my programming class, any given program would not work the same on any two given machines. All the computers were identical as far is hardware was concerned. At home my program would look/work great, but at school it was ugly as sin.
Posted at 10:57 am on Sep 10th
Maybe you’re all just complaining about Java because you write shitty code and don’t want to take responsibility for it and try and learn something for a change. You sound like a bunch of VB.NET developers.
Posted at 4:14 pm on Sep 10th
I’m glad this has stimulated some debate between developers. It’s clear from the comments posted that users and developers have quite differing experiences using Java which is one of the reasons the language is so problematic.
The fact is, there is a definite difference in the way Java, especially JavaScript, works between browsers. For instance, I have first hand experience of JavaScript and Java Applets working fine in Firefox 2 Portable but not in Firefox 3. Of course, this is probably Mozilla’s fault but it just goes to show how problematic Java can be when it comes to browser developers supporting the most basic on Java functions.
That said, Java has added a valuable dimension to internet browsing, it’s just a shame that the language can’t be made a bit more universally standard in the way it works for all browsers.
Posted at 7:10 am on Oct 7th
Frixus, believe me or not, I DON’T like dotNET. I don’t like any of new revolutionary technologies. They may be productive AFTER you get a complete knowledge of them, but it my take a loooong time. And after you think you master them, MBA’s are already pushing forward another revolutionary technology you’ll have to master. Well, fuck them! This is what I call sheep-salt technology. And it looks like it works much better then contents itself!
I think that person asking “Why is there not enough developers available?” has lost a contact with reality. There were times when programming was art. Now it is a mass industry and as such it is sublimed to business interests and it is therefore SCREWED alltogether!
Posted at 5:28 pm on Jan 20th
I hate java as well…
Posted at 10:29 pm on Feb 14th
I don’t exactly hate Java. But Hell, Java is simply difficult. I think Netbeans is the most boring and unproductive IDE ever made on earth. If you are looking for a better alternative, try C#, it gets the job done, gives you the power of C/C++ and yes…its platform independent (almost).
Posted at 4:19 am on Jul 19th
I hate java! I had to install six jvm updates on my notebook - about 800 Mb. java works in background always (why?). my zone alarm agree with me when, every time I switch on my computer, java tries to connect itself to internet (again…why? I disabled the automatic update). After these all cons, java is used just for boring web applets (1/3) and … by viruses (2/3)! bleah,,,
PS: I developed in java for two years - just the basics, but I know the argument.